Stinkbug Wars

The death toll continues to rise. The poison may not be immediately deadly to these formidable invaders, but eventually it works its magic on the dreaded enemy soldiers. The demons also continue to find themselves snared by the Tower of Death. It is heartening to find dead and dying stinkbug carcasses each morning during the […]

We have received the most disturbing news to date: Stinkbugs are now attacking one of our most precious commodities. Wine! They have apparently enlisted suicide soldiers who throw themselves into the wine presses, destroying cask after cask of this precious substance. Our defenses are disheartened by this frightening news… We must mull it over while […]

Finally, there seems to be an acceptance of much that those of us on the front lines already knew: 1. Stinkbugs are far more than a nuisance. 2. Stinkbugs are a threat of epic proportions. 3. Stinkbugs are nearly impossible to kill. 4. Stinkbugs are capable of birthing up to SIX generations per year. Of […]

During the recent unseasonably cold, wet weather, the stinkbug enemy seemed to disappear, but we knew that they would return. The warm spring weather today brought out more than friendly forces to enjoy the sun here in Maryland. The stinkbug soldiers are again slithering past our perimeter to enter our stronghold. Luckily, new and better […]

In my ongoing quest for the most effective anti-stinkbug weapon, I have moved to the heavy artillery. I just received my first hanging stinkbug trap. I am eagerly awaiting the results of its trial-run tonight. I have been dreaming of hundreds of enemy soldiers drawn to this lighted tower of death only to be held […]